Now That I'm a Mom I Can...

...Put a child’s hair in a ponytail while walking around the entire house and setting up a play date on the phone.

...Allow myself to feel compassionate toward everyone… even the putz who flicks me the bird because I drive the speed limit.

...Temper my judgments of others. As long as you’re not hitting or hurting anyone, I give ya a wide berth.

...Embrace the supposed imperfections of my body with a different attitude. If this body can carry and birth a beautiful child, this body can do anything.

...Deliver an Oscar-worthy performance of attentive happiness and domestic bliss on those days when I really feel like my life is stuck on an endless cycle of laundry, dishes, laundry, dishes, laundry, dishes...

...Fix three dinners for the same child in one night, all within the course of fifteen minutes.

...Ignore the mess and chaos of my house. Laundry can wait. Dishes can wait. Sharing tea with Stella, a toy elephant and a naked baby doll can't.

...Understand that there are always many sides to one story and that everyone, including those psycho parents I see screaming at their kids for no good reason at all, is simply doing their best.

...Gaze for hours on end at another human being, our gorgeous girl.

...Cut to the chase and communicate more honestly. There ain’t a whole lot of time for bull anymore. And hallelujah for that.

...Talk about bodies with total candor. The moment I realized I was walking around the birth center buck naked and didn’t care one hugely pregnant bit, I realized that a shell is just that, a shell. And a body is really just a body.

...Pee on the toilet while reading a story to a toddler curled up on my lap.

...Keep a straight face when my one year old moves from topic to topic, mentioning in one breath how “La la mountain big hike Grandpa” and then gracefully and seamlessly sliding into the next breath where Papa has a “penis” and is “naked” in the “bathtub.”

...Discuss the most serious of topics – marital strife, world politics, war, depression – while chasing a toddler through a maze of slides, climbing walls and swings.

...Absolutely and fairly justify not hanging out with friends who don’t make me or my family feel good. (See no bull comment above.)

Oh, I’m afraid this list would be endless if I continue. As I type, I recognize that much of these new abilities are really just skills I used to carry latently but have now honed. Of course, I’m incredibly aware that you don’t have to be a parent to experience or master the things on this list. (Well, maybe the in-motion ponytail and the three dinners in fifteen minutes…. Who knows?) Being a mama or papa isn’t the only experience in life that necessitates or prompts growth. But it sure is a biggie. And it’s the ride I’m on at the moment, so recording all this affords me a well-deserved chuckle.

I’m eager to hear from others about the humorous and maybe not-so-humorous things that you can do or feel or understand now that you’re a parent or now that you’ve shifted gears or, simply, now that you’ve opened your eyes or heart in a new fashion. A co-worker once told me that before having a child, he felt like he was living in a two dimensional world. Having a son catapulted him into a three (and sometimes four) dimensional mode seeing the world. And as I skim this list, I marvel at the gifts these small but momentous shifts allow and how the shift from two to three dimensional thinking is simply a slow and gentle widening of my heart.