Summoning Courage

I love this photo. Of all the pictures from our recent trip to Costa Rica, this one captures our experience as a family. A slow summoning of courage, of confidence, of bravado.

Stella didn’t really enjoy the beach when we first arrived in Costa Rica. Let me be a bit more clear – she hated the sight and feeling of any molecule of sand on any part of her body. I’m talkin’ full body freak out. She screamed and pointed and stood completely immobilized until one of us picked her up, dusted her off and held her closely while standing far above the sandy ground.

Okay, so on day one of this gripping fear, I looked at the Papa with a bit of concern. What’s this about? How are we going to handle a week of hanging out on the beach with a toddler who appears to be inching toward epileptic fits at the mere sight of sand? Oh boy.

But in classic chilled out fashion, the Papa just smiled and told me to relax and let Stella figure out what this beach thing is all about in her own time. And man, was he right. Thanks to Grandma’s gentle guidance and her contagiously happy cousins, Stella gradually started looking at the sand and ocean with fresh eyes. With each visit to the beach, she developed a greater sense of comfort with her new digs. She started feeling comfortable with sand on her feet. She began helping build sand castles and moats. And she eventually warmed up to standing in the ocean as the waves rolled in. By the end of the vacation, she was marching into the surf by herself – holding Mama and Papa’s hands is for little kids after all – and taking on the waves headfirst.

Just taking stock. Hmmm. This doesn't seem too bad.

Okay, that's comin' in fast and hard. Nope. Nope. Nope. Not gonna do it.

Wait a minute. That wasn't so bad. This is do-able. I've totally got it.

Bring it on, ocean baby. Bring it on.

More. More. More!

Stella’s slow progression (or shall we say obsession?) on the beach demonstrated exactly what we were going through emotionally as a family throughout our trip. Slowly, carefully, deliberately, we gathered more and more confidence and courage as a young family embarking on their maiden international voyage. Granted, a two week trip to a peaceful Costa Rican beach with extended family isn’t exactly extreme travel. It’s not like we were trekking the hills of Bhutan with a one year old and a yak. (Next year, perhaps?) But the mere acts of packing up all our gear, preparing for all potential roadblocks and simply getting ourselves on a plane with a toddler is no small feat. Throw in our irrational fear that the mosquito net over Stella’s portable crib would somehow prove defenseless to vicious malaria riddled mosquitoes, and you have two somewhat wobbly parents.

But we did it. And, of course, it all panned out beautifully. Stella flew like a champ, charming everyone on the plane, even doling out fist bumps to those sitting in aisle seats. And despite a few fragile moments during the first few days and a bit more reliance on the binky than we’d like, she took to world traveling like a pro. She seemed calm and engaged by the people she met, she avoided sunburn and bug bites completely and she developed a seriously joyful obsession with the ocean.

Watching Stella take to this experience, and reflecting on how the Papa and I felt so rejuvenated by taking this trip, I realize, yet again, the weighty importance of taking risks. We feel so blessed to be able to take these kinds of trips, especially in these times, but we also feel sorta kinda proud of ourselves for taking the leap. It's not like we're finding a cure for cancer here. We know that. But tackling our own little fears and concerns still matters. Staying home feels safe and stable. But for us, familiarity is seriously trumped by the confidence and wisdom gained by these kinds of adventures. Before Stella was born, the Papa and I undoubtedly ranked traveling as our absolute favorite past time. We’ve done a pretty good job of checking off a lot of our I-Wanna-See-That list. And while we probably won’t be heading to Katmandu any time soon and we are far from adopting a Brangelina lifestyle, we have realized that showing our wee Scout the world is one of our top priorities as parents.

(We also realize that it’s good to start off with bite-size trips. Rather than diving into an extreme adventure (see that Bhutan yak gig), we figured a relaxing and primarily stationary visit to a Costa Rican beach with family was the perfect re-entry into our previously worldly life. I know us. If we had set our sights on something more dramatic, we would never have done it. Not with a toddler. So we swallowed our pride and accepted an easier but just as glorious traveling path. And it paid off by way of a happy kid and two happy parents.)

We totally realize that Stella will most likely have no memory of Costa Rica. But we like to believe that she will remember a powerful and innate sense of adventure when she looks back on her childhood. This sense of worldly confidence, I hope, will follow her as she grows and matures so that when she finds herself tempted to book that flight to a faraway place, she recognizes that she possesses the strength and courage to do so.